LaTeX: replace double quotes with tex quotes

People often make the mistake of putting " in place of `` in LaTeX documents. To repair this, the only easy solution is something like:
s/\(\s\)"/\1``/g
in VIM or sed.

I've seen alternate solutions posted but they're all too complicated. One recommendation was to switch to XeTeX, which sounds like overkill, and others all stated that a complicated perl script is required. The latter is technically true, but why isn't such a thing readily available?

Any other ideas?

Skim: a PDF reader that allows annotations

from Sam: http://skim-app.sourceforge.net/

neat

skill set

is it a marketable skill that I can bring down almost any computer system I'm given access too entirely unintentionally?

post rate

my post rate is too low I need to up it so that my front page doesn't show the same posts any more

scary

I think this is my worst nightmare:
http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap081203.html

LA. Not the smiley.